Dear So and So

Do you ever get really frustrated (or even pleasantly surprised) about something, so you start writing a letter in your head to the universe or some corporate entity or some civil servant's boss because of their complete lack of competence (or maybe even extreme helpfulness).  I do this.  All. The. Time.  Of course with me being me, these letters never make it from my head to paper and they never get sent.  Well, the other day, I stumbled across this blog, Mom in High Heels.  She's also a military wife living abroad while her husband serves our country.  The tag line of her blog is, "Life's Too Short to Wear Ugly Shoes,"  how could I not read this blog? Although living in Guam, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've worn a shoe other than a flip flop, there was this occasion a few weeks ago...

I'm not sure what was up with the pose, but we clean up pretty well don't we?  And this is way TMI, but I really, really need to go bra shopping.

Anyway, while reading Mom in High Heels' blog, I came across a post entitled, "Dear So and So."  And discovered that apparently I am not the only person who writes random letters to people in my head, and thanks to Kat, another military wife blogger, we can now get the letters out without actually having to look up an address (which is especially hard to do when you're "writing" to the universe) or waste money on a stamp.

Today I had the opportunity to compose several such letters...



Dear Guam,

What does it take to entice the mailman to come pick up the mail that has been attached to my mailbox for several days?  It's obviously not the mail that is now dripping wet and coming precariously close to being blown off our mailbox thanks to this unseasonable monsoon we are currently experiencing.  Don't you understand that Netflix won't send a new movie until they receive our current movie and it takes wayyyyy longer for us to get our movies because we live in the middle of no where the Pacific Ocean.  And I'm ready to start watching season two of Mad Men, so please share with me what I need to do in order to have my mail picked up.

Also, have you or anyone specifically on Andersen AFB ever heard of a drive-thru ATM?  I realize you probably don't have an inquisitive 19 month old that goes almost every where with you, but seriously, no one likes to park and get out of a car just to get cash.  They especially don't like to do it if they have to get a toddler out of a carseat, chase them around while the money is being dispensed and then wrestle the kid back into the seat.  Please, Guam or someone on Andersen, give a drive-thru ATM a thought.

Finally, I don't like going to your DMV.  I have been twice this week trying to procure a passport and after today's visit, I still have to go back before the crack of dawn on Monday.  Seriously, do you want me to never leave this island?  Could you make your website a little more informative?  If so, maybe I would have checked it before I drove down to apply for my passport on Tuesday only to find that you you can only apply for a passport on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Before I left today, I checked your website to make sure I had all of the necessary documents to obtain to my passport.  No where, and I MEAN NO WHERE did it state I needed a copy of my marriage certificate.  To your credit, the lady saw me about to burst into tears at the thought of making a third trip and sitting with a rambunctious kid for a second time so she let me apply, but I still have to go back with my marriage license to prove that I am who I claim to be because obviously my birth certificate and two other forms of ID are not enough.

-Yours Truly


Dear Class 6 (on base beer store)-

You TOTALLY rock! Thank you for the surprise, mysterious shipment of Yuengling beer.  I am now Wife of the Year and am in good favor with some neighbors.

Gracias!


Dear Terrell

I wish you would listen to me more often.  I told you to take 5 more minutes of your precious time to locate your marriage license even though it wasn't on the list of required documents.

Sincerely,
Your Self


If you have any letters you want to get off your chest, link up on Kat's page.