It's Not About the TiVo

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, Don said to me, "I guess you should call TiVo and find out what to do with it since it's not coming to Guam." I started crying...

I love to watch TV and I really love my TiVo. I like TiVo more than any other DVR in the world. Ever since having Price, I've substantially cut back on the amount of shows I watch and on the amount of time I spend watching tv. But TV is one of the ways I relax. (As I write this I sound ridiculous, even though I am writing about myself). TiVo allows me to record all of the shows I want to watch, even though I may not get around to watching them. It even suggests TV shows to watch, even though I NEVER get around to watching them. I have episodes of Ugly Betty that I want to watch saved as far back as April. TiVo is intuitive and fast and it has a huge memory. Our stupid HD DVR that is downstairs is cumbersome, slow and may have a big memory but only holds a few shows because the HD takes up a lot of room. TiVo was with me when Don was in San Antonio for 3 months right after we moved to Dayton, keeping my shows on hold for me so when I was lonely and couldn't sleep late at night, I had something to watch and fall asleep to. TiVo was with me when Don deployed and I was up late waiting for Price to wake up and eat. (God, typing that makes it sound like I have a truly unhealthy relationship with my TiVo, and that it has served as a surrogate Don. Not true!).

But it's honestly not about the TiVo. I cried for 2 reasons. The first was I HATE being told things that I have to do, when I am the one affected, it's my stuff and it comes out of the blue with no input from me (there will be input from me, and this discussion is not over).

The bigger reason is that TiVo symbolized all that is being sacrificed by our moving to Guam. I try to put up a brave front, but I am scared. Our lives are about to change in a major way and while I think about those changes, I am compartmentalizing them because it's too big to think about in one lump sum. We are about to move half way across the world for 3 years and only have 2 months to prepare for it. TiVo was the tangible symbol for all of my friends, family, comfort zones, touch stones that I am going to miss when we move to Guam.

So there it is, it's really not about TiVo. It's about everything that really does matter to me and just a reminder that this move is coming really soon and I'm not ready to let go of everything we have here.

Guam Update:
Experienced first Guam related meltdown last night- see post above.
Received orders today- so it's officially official
Scheduled appointment with TMO for Monday morning, move is being set in motion