Thanks

Today I am thankful for...
A glass of wine (or 3).  God being good.  My mom. Adult conversation.  My son.  The Heimlich Maneuver.  The way things work out. A kind husband.

Let me explain.  Price woke up with a really croupy cough today.  He's not a cougher and waking up before it was light outside to the sound of a baby seal barking was not a great way to start the day.  I started up a steam shower and sequestered us in the bathroom and the coughing abated.  However, my concern did not.  So, of course I called my mom.  She just listened to me (Don wasn't available, but he would normally be my sounding board).  I debated with myself about whether or not to call the doctor, but decided not to since the coughing had stopped and he was pretty much acting normal.  Plus, the base had a down day today as a reward for no alcohol related incidences for 36 days so the clinic was closed (have you found that the baby always gets sick when the doctor's office is closed? me too). We went about our day:  planning for dinner guests, eating lots of fruit for breakfast, Price not feeling well and getting punier by the minute.  I decided he should take a morning nap and he concurred (falling asleep on my bed at 10:00 in the morning is a sign of a tired kiddo).  But he woke up shortly after coughing that deep barking cough again.  And this time sweet, precious Price was gone and the kid that woke up was crying and clingy and wanted to be held.  I finally broke down and called my guests and cancelled dinner.  Then, I was bummed- I was sooooo looking forward to having another adult in the house to talk to.  I also called the doctor who told me as long as he wasn't having problems breathing (he wasn't, the cough went away as soon as he was up and about), I just needed to watch him.

Since Don's been gone and Price has been sick, our normal routine of sitting in the dining room to eat has kind of slipped.  I've been a lazy mom and we have been eating breakfast and lunch in the living room, in front of the TV (thank you PBS).  Anyway, today at lunch Price choked.  Not a little choke either.  He was standing right next to me and I was watching him and the next thing I know he was in serious trouble.  I literally thought he was going to die (reading those words, even though I have said them a few times, seeing them on "paper" makes this really real).  I almost felt like I left myself and was watching from afar.  I thought, "Oh my god, I don't know if I can save him, I don't have anyone here to help me, what am I going to do if I can't fix this."  They were literally the the saddest, scariest thoughts I think I have ever had in my life.  I grabbed him and threw him over my lap and started doing a modified Heimlich and got the food out.  The whole thing lasted maybe 30 seconds and he wasn't blue or anything, but it seemed like time was frozen.  He was so upset from being scared and not feeling well and being jostled that he lost it.  I lost it too, I was so upset from being scared and overwhelmed with being thankful.  It was at that very moment, that I felt the strongest bond of motherhood that I have ever felt, that I would do whatever it would take to make sure that my guy was OK.  We stood in front of the open freezer door sobbing.  Thank goodness for popsicles, because it got him to calm down and once he was clam, I was able to calm down too, but I definitely squeezed him harder and told him I loved him more than I normally do.

After we had both recovered and he went down for his nap, I started to regret canceling our dinner plans.  But I of course felt (because I am, from time to time, the most socially insecure person in the world) that I couldn't call my guests back and re-invite them to dinner.  But thankfully, when they called to tell me they had gotten the message, I told them I could really use the company and if they hadn't made other plans, I'd love for them to come to dinner.  And they did!  It was so nice to have adult conversation, have someone for Price to play with and have a glass of wine (or 3).

And yes, I am signing up ASAP to take a CPR class, I would encourage you to do the same (especially if you have children in your home, you never know when you may need it).