Some Things You Need To Know About Why I'll Never Be Mistaken for Mrs. Fields

If you were driving by my house last night, you totally suck because you didn't stop by and say hi  you may have seen me cleaning out a can of condensed milk.  Perhaps I should be embarrassed by the fact that I was standing in front of my kitchen window licking the sweet nectar of Eagle Brand Condensed Milk directly out of the can (ok, I was actually licking it off a spatula, under the guise of cleaning it out to put in the recycling bin).  But I am not.  I may be embarrassed when none of my clothes fit in a few days from extra poundage, but not of those few minutes of my public display of affection for my culinary crack...

Hello Lover

This is my new Wilton Cookie Imprint Cookie Sheet.

I am underwhelmed by it.  It doesn't produce cookies as much as it does muffins.  If  needed cute muffins, I'd be really happy with this cookie sheet.  But, alas, I need cute cookies. Lots and lots of them.  This pan was a total fail in that area.

Sometimes, when recipes call for dough to be chilled for two hours, what it really means put it in a freezer for 18 days.  Apparently, chilling dough in the fridge for 48 hours isn't enough.  And then you end up with a crazy mess like this...

OK, I admit, this carnage probably would have happened to some extent even without dough that pretended to be super glue, adhering itself to the counter, my hands, my clothes.  Initially, I was going to make 20 dozen cookies.  All for a good cause (every year all the young, unaccompanied airmen on base get a dozen cookies.  It's to help them have a happier holiday- can you imagine being as young as 18 and being so far from home during the holidays??).  Then the non-stop cheesefest, AKA Hallmark Channel Christmas movies life got in the way and I got realistic and cut that number in half.  The cookies started coming out of the oven looking like this...

There must be some law of physics explaining why the sprinkles don't disperse evenly when baking although the dough was rolled and covered in its entirety prior to baking.

These cookies are sugar cookies, yet they are the color of gingersnaps.

Can you guess what those shapes are?  Who knew that the Hunchback of Notre Dame and a fat Snork were somehow Christmas related?

All I know is, I muddled through it...

After producing racks and racks of cookies, I hope that this is one of those times where it's the thought that counts more than looks.  And as a reward to myself, I finished up the evening with my favorite Christmas time snack, a Hello Dolly and a glass of milk.