Friday, December 4, 2009

Tis a Few Weeks Before Christmas*

and all through my house, not a thing is ready... I feel like a louse.
No stockings are hung, there's no chimney, our walls are bare
St. Nicholas probably thinks I just don't care...

We live on a tropical island you see, and it just doesn't feel all that Christmas-y.
You have white snow, we have white sand.
I'm finding it hard to get into the spirit in this far away land!

Seriously, I think I may getting a case of the Bah-Hum Bug.  Which I don't want!  Is there a vaccine?  For some reason, today has been rough.  I think it is hitting me that my birthday (a pretty big one) and Christmas are right around the corner.  While I am so fortunate and blessed (and actually feel kind of selfish for even having some of these feelings when there are so many people worse off than I am) to be celebrating Christmas with my boys (hubby, Price and brother), it is the first Christmas that won't be spent with parental units and definitely the first Christmas we've spent so far away from home.  It won't even be Christmas in the States while we're celebrating it here (which, I guess is good in a way so Skyping will be easier).

Honestly, I always get a little down this time of year- and really can never put my finger on it.  But I think it boils down to two things.  One, and this is sooo stupid and EVERY year I tell myself to quit caring and EVERY year I continue to care- is my birthday.  It's not about how old I'm getting (although this year, I am officially moving into a new age bracket when it comes to filling out surveys and questionnaires), it's just so close to Christmas it kind of gets lost in the shuffle.

The other reason is that it always feels so rushed and anti-climatic. All the present buying, wrapping and then the mad frenzy of opening gifts and then it's over.  No one seems to slow down and think about (other than the hour you might spend at church) what it's all about.  Maybe in Guam, since everything is on island time, we will have a slower Christmas and really reflect about why we are celebrating on the first place.

I really want to go into this season with a joyful heart.  I want to make this a special holiday, full of warm memories and traditions, for Price.  (as I'm writing this-thank you blog- I'm realizing another positive about being in Guam is we are getting to create our own traditions without being rushed from one end of Texas to another to make sure we get face time with everyone this year).  I want him to begin to understand that it's about more than just Santa and presents.  I want him to experience the magic that I did as a child so that he looks forward to Christmas every year.

In an effort to achieve this goal, I'm going to be journaling this Christmas.  From now through January 6 (12th Night), my blog will mainly be devoted to helping me (and our little family unit) get into the Spirit.  Don't worry- there will still be lots of pictures, like this one, taken last night at the base Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony.

Although it looks like he's doing the Jingle Bell Rock he's actually just walking around, enjoying the beautiful weather we had last night.  

*(with my apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)


Rachel said...

Hang in there Terrell!! This is God's way of allowing you and your family to start your own traditions. At MOPS they were just talking about this. To adjust and create traditions that work for your family. Now for your birthday I totally understand! You are a beautiful and strong woman and in the midst of all this you will come out on top and have found some wonderful memories!!

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