Some Things You Need To Know About Why I'll Never Be Mistaken for Mrs. Fields

If you were driving by my house last night, you totally suck because you didn't stop by and say hi  you may have seen me cleaning out a can of condensed milk.  Perhaps I should be embarrassed by the fact that I was standing in front of my kitchen window licking the sweet nectar of Eagle Brand Condensed Milk directly out of the can (ok, I was actually licking it off a spatula, under the guise of cleaning it out to put in the recycling bin).  But I am not.  I may be embarrassed when none of my clothes fit in a few days from extra poundage, but not of those few minutes of my public display of affection for my culinary crack...

Hello Lover

This is my new Wilton Cookie Imprint Cookie Sheet.

I am underwhelmed by it.  It doesn't produce cookies as much as it does muffins.  If  needed cute muffins, I'd be really happy with this cookie sheet.  But, alas, I need cute cookies. Lots and lots of them.  This pan was a total fail in that area.

Sometimes, when recipes call for dough to be chilled for two hours, what it really means put it in a freezer for 18 days.  Apparently, chilling dough in the fridge for 48 hours isn't enough.  And then you end up with a crazy mess like this...

OK, I admit, this carnage probably would have happened to some extent even without dough that pretended to be super glue, adhering itself to the counter, my hands, my clothes.  Initially, I was going to make 20 dozen cookies.  All for a good cause (every year all the young, unaccompanied airmen on base get a dozen cookies.  It's to help them have a happier holiday- can you imagine being as young as 18 and being so far from home during the holidays??).  Then the non-stop cheesefest, AKA Hallmark Channel Christmas movies life got in the way and I got realistic and cut that number in half.  The cookies started coming out of the oven looking like this...

There must be some law of physics explaining why the sprinkles don't disperse evenly when baking although the dough was rolled and covered in its entirety prior to baking.

These cookies are sugar cookies, yet they are the color of gingersnaps.

Can you guess what those shapes are?  Who knew that the Hunchback of Notre Dame and a fat Snork were somehow Christmas related?

All I know is, I muddled through it...

After producing racks and racks of cookies, I hope that this is one of those times where it's the thought that counts more than looks.  And as a reward to myself, I finished up the evening with my favorite Christmas time snack, a Hello Dolly and a glass of milk.

Christmas, It's In the Cards

How is it already December?  It seems like only yesterday there were 35 people at our house feasting on turkey and dressing and celebrating Thanksgiving.

Of course since we are in day 336 of summer here, there is absolutely nothing climatic to indicate that Christmas will be here in just a little over three weeks.  Good thing there is the un-decorated tree in the corner, the ever-growing list of presents to purchase and ship, the 20 dozen cookies that must be baked before Tuesday to remind me that December 25 will be here before I know it.  But this year, unlike last year, I'm already feeling Christmas-y.  It could be because our calendar is filling up with all kinds of Christmas activities, or maybe because even though our house isn't decorated yet, everyone else's is.  But probably, the reason I am more into Christmas this year is because of the little guy.  Any time he sees anything Christmas related he says, "Merry Christmas."  In the candy aisle, it's "Merry Christmas candy,"  it's not just a Christmas tree, but a "Merry Christmas tree."  He walks around singing Jingle Bell Rock.  And to prove that he really does listen to me, he also talks about Jesus.  In his mind and vocabulary (as I hope it always stays) Jesus is synonymous with Christmas, the latter is rarely mentioned without the former.

I really hope that I am able to capture P's excitement of the season.  He doesn't need the weather to be colder to be excited.  He can tell that it is a magical season.  I want to share this first year of understanding Christmas with our family and friends.  One of the ways I know I can do this is by sending out Christmas cards (ok, who am I kidding, we all know that IF they even get sent they will probably be more like New Years or Mardi Gras cards).  But thanks to Shutterfly, no matter when I get a picture or get ready to send out my cards, I will have so many great options to choose from.  They're actually being awesome and giving me 50 free cards for this post, but I'd give them props without the freebies!

Last year, I made calendars for several family members.  I know it was my mom's favorite gift and she has hinted no less than 1 million times that she wants one this year.  What I love about Shutterfly is how easy it is to use!  I made at least 5 calendars last year and each one was tailored to the person receiving it.  I was able to finish all 5 in one night and they were all delivered in time for Christmas.  I also sent some things to Don when he was deployed and one of the items didn't arrive, I contacted Shutterfly and they sent a replacement immediately, at no cost.  They also usually have great specials.  Right now, you can get free shipping on certain orders.

The only thing I don't like- there are too many great cards to select from!!!

I can't decide if I want to do a card that features the three of us.


Or if I prefer to just put Price by himself, after all we all know he's what everyone wants to see.



Do we rub it in acknowledge that we live on a tropical island and will probably hit the beach several times this month?



But no matter which one we go with, it may actually get sent before Mardi Gras.  Because Shutterfly will even stamp and mail the cards for me.  With that kind of service, I may not even ask for a Christmas present.

Full Disclosure Time:  I am being compensated by Shutterfly for writing this post.  I get 50 free cards for sharing my opinion about Shutterfly.  I have not been asked to write anything positive, but to share my opinion of Shutterfly and any past experiences that I've had.  If you're a blogger and want to get 50 free cards from Shutterfly, follow this link http://blog.shutterfly.com/5358/holiday2010-blog-submission-form/.

Totally Random

1.  Today, it rained.  Really, really hard.  But, I was on a quest for pumpkin and I would not let thunder, lightning or torrents of water from above or rushing through a parking lot deter me.  And I am now the proud new owner of 6 large cans of pumpkin.  And a new pair of jeans.  Because the ones I had on when I went to get the pumpkin got so wet, I couldn't walk around the store without sloshing water everywhere.

2.  I have never lived in a place where people loved to stand on the street and yell about things as much as they do here.  During campaign season, huge gaggles of supporters of various campaigns would line the main roads waving and shouting their support to passersby.  Last week, folks were out in force thanking veterans. Today was my favorite.  Today, I got to drive through the "Save the Shark" roadside rally.  Hundreds (or maybe tens) of people were lining the road drawing awareness to the plight of the shark and their allegedly tasteful fins.  If I were the type of blogger to use this forum as a soap box, this is when I would tell you that CBS says 73 MILLION sharks are killed each year to meet the demand for shark fin soup and that is leading several species of sharks towards extinction.  But since I'm not that type of blogger, I will just move on and tell you that it's when I'm driving down the main drag and see people standing shoulder to shoulder with someone dressed up like a shark and holding up signs that say, "cut class, not fins" are the times I really love this place.

3.  Other times I love this place are the times when I go to The Kmart and on my way out witness a fight breaking out.  Adults getting into a screaming match, while even more adults surround them to witness the action. I'm just not used to seeing fights break out anywhere other than hockey arenas or other sporting venues.

4.  I have FINALLY (at least for the past week) gotten to a good place with keeping peace housekeeping. About 6 months ago, I tried to get on track by following the Fly Lady. All I got out of that was a really clean sink.  But something seems to have clicked with me, and hopefully will stick with me.  I realized that if I stay on top of things, I don't get overwhelmed and it's much easier to spend about an hour everyday doing dishes, tidying up rooms, doing a load or two of laundry and concentrating on cleaning one room than it is to spend multiple hours during the weekend trying to make up for everything I let slip during the week.  I know this is probably pretty elementary to many of you and possibly hive inducing for several of you.  But what a difference a straight house can have on a marriage... if nothing else it (hopefully) eliminates any visions of me sitting at home eating bon-bons from Don's brain.

5.  Isn't he cute?

He's cute about 99% of the time, whether he's using his own vocabulary (Bear Poo= Pooh (as in Winnie the) Bear, Mr. Wheats Cereal= Frosted Mini Wheats, bacoose= caboose, coyboy boots= cowboy boots), crying for five seconds and then stopping to tell me what he's crying about, "cry go playground (even if it's nine o'clock at night and monsooning this kid wants to go to the playground), just playing in his room or saying his nightly prayers, even when God blessing all of his trains takes precedence over blessing any living, breathing member of his family- he's a cute kid.  Except for when he turns into the Poo Poo Picasso (PPP), like he has TWICE this week!!  We've overcome this problem at night by duct taping him into his pajamas, so PPP usually strikes at naptime when we forget to dress him in five layers of clothes.  I am soooo over this stage.  And sick of cleaning up his crap.  

Happy Homecoming

I am happy to be back in Guam.  No, really, I am.  I am just not happy about the fact that it seems like all the boonie bees on the island have taken up residence around my house, which causes me to go on mad bee (don't worry they're really just very aggressive wasps) killing rampages.  For which I am then required to shoot large streams of toxic poison into the environment.  Only after my displays of violence do I get the pleasure of watching them drop dead from the hive, one by one.

I'm also happy to be back because the beach is at my beck and call.  And while I love to be surrounded by water when swimming in the ocean, I don't love it so much when it is dripping out of my cabinets.  I guess I should be (and when I think about it and don't need it as fodder for my blog, I truly am) happy that our typhoon water supply didn't start leaking until some recent day since we returned home.  But it sure was a delight this morning (in the midst of throwing away a freezer full of spoiled food, thanks to the compressor going out of the fridge) to walk into a raining laundry room.

The Culprits

Since this has happened on more than one occasion, I have decided to change our typhoon supply over to the more hardy bottles pictured below.

I wonder if three cases of beer is enough to last the recommended 7 days?

And as happy as I am to have funny stories to tell of all the creepy creatures that inhabit this island, I didn't miss how they just kind of jump out at you from no where.  They really do a good job of scaring the crud out of me.  Today alone, I have startled myself and a little gecko who had taken up residence in my umbrella.  And then there's this little guy,

He thinks it's fun to hop out from just about any place I am about to put my foot down.  Night or day, on the porch or in the yard.  He has given me no less than 4 heart attacks.  Especially last night, when I thought he was going to move into the house.

And finally, while I was completely overwhelmed by all of the grocery selections that I had back in the states, I didn't miss having to go all Laura Ingalls Wilder living in a Little House on the Prairie (or in my case a little cinder block box on an island) and feeling the need to buy a 25 pound sack of flour (even though I have no where to store it). I have lots of baking to do over the next month and a half and the commissary ran out of flour last year.  That may also explain the 6 boxes of butter in my refrigerator (according to Don, safe from having to be thrown out with the spoiled milk and eggs) and my never-ending quest to find some pumpkin.

Mommy flour and her baby

 But really, I am happy to be home.  We've returned in time to be greeted by pleasant trade winds, beautiful rainbows and a full calendar.  I've actually made some MAJOR progress on one of my goals, I'll share that with you soon.  But now, because all unexpected messes come in threes I have to go clean up after the Poo Poo Picasso (something else that I didn't miss while I was away, I guess it's back to duct taping).

More To Come

Hi!  We're back in Guam.  We've been back for a week now.  I finally made it to the beach today.  Jet lag seems to be gone, procrastination has taken its place.  I've promised myself that with the new month (that is now on it's 8th day) I will be: better about blogging, better about staying healthy, better at keeping the house clean and straight.  So far, I am 0 for 3.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi, let you know I'm still here..  If nothing else, Price has started saying all kinds of funny things, and don't think I'm above being one of those moms that doesn't feel the need to share.

Later!

There's a Recipe In Here Somewhere

I should totally be packing right now, taking advantage of a sleeping child so I can throw some stuff in a suitcase before we head out for a weekend excursion.  Of course, I hate packing and will do pretty much anything to avoid it, so instead I'm blogging.  Hoping that all of our stuff will Mary Poppins itself right into the appropriate bag at the appropriate time...  a girl can dream can't she?

We have really been having a good time here.  It's funny how being in Guam for only a year  (it seems like such a short time right now, but when I'm "in it" seems like forever), has already changed me.  I unknowingly have really adapted to the slow, less is mostly enough except when I want something and can't find it immediately lifestyle we are experiencing over there.  I am constantly amazed at how much stuff there is here.  And I wonder, after living in Guam, is it really ALL necessary?  Don't get me wrong, I won't ever NOT love Target, but it's interesting how much you take for granted when you are surrounded by everything you could possibly need and want 24/7 and not have to go too much out of your way to get it.  I'm sure when I get back to Guam, I'll be longing for these days, pinching myself for not buying something so trivial I couldn't imagine flying it back, only to "desperately" need it and not able to find it on the island.

In our almost two weeks of being here, Price has learned to say, "Target. Yay!," "cowboy boots," "doggie door," and a whole bunch of other terms.  He is having the best time being spoiled by grandparents, escaping from the house through the doggie door, going to the Children's Museum, playing on the farm, eating more hot dogs than a person could ever want, just being an active two year old.

Mom wanted to show him off to all of her neighbors who have to hear about us all of the time, so she came to me last Friday and said, "Terrell, I would like to throw an impromptu brunch TOMORROW for a few friends."  I kindly replied, "Ok Mom, whatever you'd like to do is fine.  Let me know what you need me to do."

It was then that I realized a few friends was about 50 people she's ever spoken to about Price of her closest neighbors, and by "throw a brunch" she meant, "I'm going to do all the inviting and you're going to do all the cooking."  Ahhh, mothers, you gotta love them.  Anyway, I really didn't mind cooking, especially since I made my favorite breakfast casserole and I've been wanting to share the recipe with you.

I have been making this super simple, make ahead casserole for about 10 years.  It is one of my favorites, every time I make it, people ask for the recipe.  It's perfect for Christmas morning, or any other occasion when you want something hearty and filling that doesn't require any effort on the day of serving.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, The Southern Living Breakfast Casserole.

For this recipe you will need:

1 lb ground pork sausage, browned and drained (I always use a combo of half regular, half spicy sausage.)

2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese

2 cups milk (or if you're feeling a little frisky or like you need to up your fat intake, take a walk on the wild side and do a cup of milk and a cup of cream)

6 eggs, lightly beaten

10 slices of the least expensive white bread you can buy

Plus salt, pepper, 1/4 tsp Worcestershire sauce, 1 tsp. dry ground mustard.

Brown and drain sausage.  While cooking sausage, lightly grease a 9x13 pan.  Cube (by cube, I mean tear into quarters, it doesn't need to be pretty) 10 pieces of bread and line bottom of pan.

Layer with cheese, then cooked sausage.  Be sure to cover bread evenly.

In a separate bowl, lightly beat eggs, add milk,  mustard, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper, stir until combined.  Pour over sausage.  Be sure to coat evenly. Cover and store in refrigerator overnight.

Take out of refrigerator 30 minutes prior to baking.  Bake at 350 for 45 minutes until eggs are set.

The bread soaks up all the milk and eggs to form a custard, it's like a savory bread pudding.  You can thank me now, your taste buds will thank you later!

Blame It All On the Boots

It took almost a week, but we finally overcame our jet lag!  I have decided it's my personal mission to eat my way across the Lonestar State and to turn Price into a bonafide Texan.  I am succeeding in both areas...

A little boy in the back of a truck, could it possibly be better?

Well, maybe if you put him in a field of cows,

Maybe it wasn't a huge herd, and possibly only 6 head, and they weren't all cows, there were some bulls.  But, my little boot wearing one (oh yes, boots were bought for the occasion) realized he could  "mooooooo" with the best of them and spent a lovely few hours moooing and tossing cow treats into the pasture to feed the cows.  And he was quite content with that until he spotted the tractor.  And any thought that ever crossed my mind that he isn't 100% pure boy was quickly vanished as a chorus of, "tactor, tactor, red tactor, mommy tactor, tactor mommy" began to endlessly repeat itself ring across the wide open spaces.  And there was nothing left to do, but to let him drive the tractor.

So that is what I did, and that is how I ended up with the happiest, hungriest, dirtiest little Texan in the making.